by Mo Mydlo
Boundaries are a beautiful thing. They are a godly thing.
Boundaries protect us, help us and keep us from hurting ourselves or others.
We need boundaries in marriage.
We need boundaries in parenting.
We need boundaries in families, relationships, friendships and work.
We need boundaries in our schedules.
The older I get, the more I see, conflict arises when people don’t respect others’ boundaries.
Conflict arises when boundaries are not duly noted and established.
God had the Israelites divide the land for a reason. Boundaries within tribes and families needed to be established for peace to prevail.
I’m heartbroken seeing marriages suffer, families divided, strongholds and addictions fester and remain in this world (Christians and Non-Christians) because emotional, spiritual and physical boundaries aren’t established, or respected.
Here’s one of my boundaries I have had to learn the hard way and will not make God have to re-teach me.
I am prone to burn- out when I do not respect and protect my time.
I have had to set definite work boundaries because I am pre-disposed to be a work-a-holic. The Board and staff of Unforsaken has had to develop boundaries of my time and I work very hard at staying in them and the staff works very hard at respecting them. I know these boundaries may not make sense to all staff members but they do respect them. I encourage my board, staff and volunteers to all stay within healthy boundaries themselves relying on the boundary of God first, Family second, ministry third. We work remotely, outside of normal 9-5 hours if your family needs it, and without restricted family time and vacation time, so that everyone serves healthy and whole for Jesus.
Even my social time is determined with boundaries. I’m not a fly by the seat of my pants girl. My kids and husband let me know when they need me each week, they get first priority, then our parents, then family and close friends.
I’ve learned in the past 10 years since recovering from burning out clinically, no one gets to make my social life decisions for me, but God and me. I can’t say yes to many things I want to, because I have a lot of day to day responsibilities that hang in the balance of keeping God as my Boss and no one else. When I say no to you, please know it’s not you, it’s me. I have a responsibility to be the best me for God I can be. I am set-apart for full time ministry and with that comes a lot of responsibility. If I say yes to you, not wanting you mad at me, I have to say no to God and I won’t do that. As the Apostle Paul said “If I was still trying to please man, I could not be a servant of Christ.”
God is my boss. That’s what Lord means.
So….. I guess I share this to say, I love you. If I say no to you, remember it’s not you, it’s me. I want to be the best me, I can be. God deserves that.
What boundaries do you need to set today? They are truly freeing!